Navigating Menopause with Confidence

Why We Need to Talk About Menopause (at the Kitchen Table)

I know that age is just a number and you’re as young as you feel, but there are something’s that biology just has control of. One of these (for women) is menopause.

I’m obsessed with learning about menopause! I’m 37 so while it might not be on the imminent horizon, I can definitely see it coming.

I know enough about my history that I will probably hit menopause early. I want to be as prepared as possible.

My Family’s Open Approach to Talking About Bodies

My family has always been very open about what happens with our bodies. Nothing has ever been taboo to talk about! And we talk about it at the kitchen table. I’ve always loved that about my childhood (and adulthood). My mom had that with her mom, and so she passed that on to us. Andrew and I also talk about what happens with our bodies with each other (hello, this is why my mood fluctuates! Men need to know!) and we talk about it with our boys. They need to know, they have questions, and I don’t want them going somewhere else for the answers. Bodies are nothing to be ashamed of, we all have them!

So the next big change for everyone in the household is my pending menopause. Or, more accurately, peri-menopause. This is something that never really got discussed at all. It was just “menopause when you’re around 50”, but that has nothing to do with the influx of symptoms and changes that your body does before it hits that point.

So when I got an email dropped into my inbox about World Menopause Day on October 18 (ya, story of my life —always late to the party), it included some menopause tips.

Dr. Gray’s 10 Key Signs Every Woman Should Know About Menopause

1. Irregular Periods for 90 Days: If your menstrual cycle becomes unpredictable for three consecutive months, with periods arriving early, late or skipping entirely, this is often the first sign of perimenopause beginning.

2. Night Sweats and Hot Flashes: While hot flashes get attention, night sweats that soak through pajamas and sheets are actually reported by 85% of menopausal women and can start years before periods stop.

3. “Menopause Brain”: Difficulty finding words, forgetting names or experiencing brain fog isn’t your imagination. Declining estrogen directly affects cognitive function and memory processing.

4. Sleep Disruption Pattern Recognition: Waking up between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. regularly, even without night sweats, indicates hormonal shifts affecting your natural sleep-wake cycle.

5. Joint Pain: Unexplained aches in hands, knees or shoulders that worsen in the morning could be estrogen-related inflammation, not just aging.

6. Mood Changes That Aren’t “Just Stress”: Sudden irritability, anxiety or feeling emotionally overwhelmed without obvious triggers often begin two to three years before periods end.

7. The Bladder Wake-Up Call: Increased urgency, frequency or minor leakage when laughing or sneezing signals pelvic floor changes from hormonal decline.

8. Skin and Hair Texture Changes: Thinning hair, dry skin despite moisturizing or adult acne appearing after years of clear skin reflect shifting hormone levels.

9. Weight Shifting to Middle: Gaining weight specifically around the waist, even with unchanged diet and exercise, indicates metabolic changes from decreased estrogen. While most people associate testosterone with men, women need it too, and hormone replacement therapy with estrogen and testosterone goes a long way toward eliminating midsection weight gain.

10. Start Watching at 45: While the average menopause age is 51, symptoms can begin as early as mid-40s, and women with a family history may experience changes even earlier.

“As soon as you notice perimenopause symptoms, it’s a good time to discuss these health changes with your doctor and get your hormone levels tested,” advised Dr. Gray. “Women who choose hormone replacement therapy or bioidentical hormone replacement therapy get the most health benefits, including relief from hot flashes, better sleep, improved mood and libido, better cardiovascular health, protection from Alzheimer’s, and stronger bones when they start early.”

My Current Experience: On the Cusp of Change

Any of these sound familiar?

I don’t have any of these yet, except for the skin changes—hormonal acne seems to be back (also… what’s up with the aggressive chin hairs?!). My cycle has started to shift, but it’s not consistent yet.

I feel like I’m just on that cusp, and I want to be proactive and get doctor’s appointments lined up to set up a baseline. I’m still researching and understanding HRT (which has had a pretty bad rap in the last couple years), and seeing how I feel about it once I talk to a doctor or a menopause specific clinic. I’m undecided on the route I want to take. But I probably have a couple of years to figure that out.

Learning from Millennial Menopause

One resource that I have been using is ‘Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life’s Next Period‘ by Lauren A. Tetenbaum.

This book is great! Easy to read, easy to absorb, and technical enough without being too much. It’s an easy grab to flip through reference-style, or sit and read front to back. There’s always something that we learn and it touches on surveys gone wrong, to how we are finally putting some time and money into women’s health research, especially for an aging woman.

About the Book

Get ready to learn the new way to take on menopause with this refreshingly real guide for millennials looking to embrace a challenging life phase with confidence, humor, and empowerment.

Menopause is often misunderstood, under-discussed, and even stigmatized. For millennial women, navigating this next chapter may seem daunting. How can you find surety and balance within all of the noise? How can you pinpoint what is an old wives’ tale and what is fact based in modern science? In Millennial Menopause, this generation finally has the handbook it deserves—a fresh, relatable, and empowering guide to understanding modern menopause.

From hormonal changes and mental health to the impact on careers, sex lives, and friendships, Millennial Menopause covers it all. With real-life anecdotes, professional advice, and important discussions on how menopause is (and isn’t) portrayed in the media, this book encourages millennial women to advocate for themselves, embrace their bodies, and navigate this phase with confidence.

Whether you’re just starting to wonder “What’s next?” or already feeling the effects, this book offers practical tips, expert interviews, and a much-needed sense of sisterhood. After all, this isn’t just the end of one chapter—it’s the beginning of an empowered new era.

Why It Resonates with Me

I’m pretty excited about aging. I love the idea of aging gracefully and without too much intervention. Obviously, no judgment, you do you. But I’m not one for injectables or cosmetic alterations. Although I sometimes think about getting a boob job! But then the crunchy part of my brain kicks in and is like, “Why do you want something unnatural in your body?” It’s a constant struggle. It’s also money that I don’t want to justify either. I’ll just keep going for facials at Damara and use my gua sha every now and then.

How do you feel about the aging process? Are you dreading it, or excited for the #newyou?

Let me know in the comments or on social media! Thanks to Dr. Janette Gray of Perfect Balance Health for the tips. Thanks to Pacific and Court for the free copy of Millennial Menopause, available here.

J x