Isn’t it funny how something so small can make such a difference to how you feel?

I feel like I’ve written about this before, but I’ve been making small changes to my routine so that I’m being a better… adult. Andrew was on vacation with his family these past 2 weeks, and I decided that I was tired of all the clutter around the house. So I cleaned. I put everything into boxes (that I still need to sort through and organize, but at least it’s not on the floor anymore). I was really good with washing the dishes. Made sure that I cleaned all the dishes that I used that night. Used the same cup (washed) all week before getting out a new one. Made sure that I made a lunch every night so I wouldn’t have the need to go out and buy food. Ate fruits and veggies with every meal. Made sure that I actually ate dinner that consisted more of a piece of toast. I got up early.

And I’m trying damn hard to make sure that Andrew doesn’t throw off this awesome groove that I’m in. He came back early Friday morning, and I won’t lie – it’s easy to fall back into old routines with him around. It’s crazy how much extra pressure I put on myself when he’s around. Like, how I feel like I have to be home after work immediately in order to make him dinner for 6 – when he’s usually not home until much later (like 8 or 9).

I think that was the freeing part of my routine. I did it for me, and I didn’t have any time restraints. I followed my own flow. Some things are just easier when you’re not in a relationship isn’t it? But now I’m working out how to fit Andrew into my flow, and make it work for both of us. And I’m opening up the channel of communication for that, because how else is he supposed to know that I need help if I don’t tell him? So, in order to get everything done, some nights he has to do the dishes while I put away the laundry.

We’re still working on it, but together we’ll create the perfect balance for us.