Or the day that I actually came to terms with the fact that I have an actual problem. It wasn’t easy.
So, the day started out like any other. I went to work, had a great day, and even had great evening. Watched a couple movies, got things checked off of my to-do list, and helped my in-laws with the gardening. As some unfortunate family happenings are going on, Andrew and I are figuring out whether we want to start buying property. Income property, and house flipping. We both are interested in doing so, and I’m feeling like this will be the catalyst to something big in the future.
During this conversation, Andrew casually asked me about my finances. This is where things got a little… messy. For the first time in a discussion about money, Andrew asked me to lay out my numbers. So I did. And all I felt was shame. Shame over the fact that I couldn’t keep it together. That I couldn’t say no to spending money. That I couldn’t exactly tell him how much I spent each month… And that I didn’t want to tell him where it was going.
That last thought was a particularly low point in my realization. I was becoming exactly what I didn’t want to become. I’ve become someone who smudges the truth about my finances, and sneaks things into the house because I don’t want my significant other knowing that I’m spending money. RED FLAG ALERT! This was the behaviour I was so desperate not to replicate, that I didn’t even realize I already was. This was a hard pill to swallow. But as they say, the first step is realization, and now I can do something about it.
Andrew and I will have a sit down and discuss fully our monetary options, especially with us going to buy a house together. But this means that I am on a serious [this time] money ban. I’ve touched on this topic before on here, but it’s always been light and airy. Nothing serious. Things on how to budget [that I don’t stick with], saying that I’m in a buying ban [but that never lasts], using programs to help budget [that I use for a bit and then fall out of]. I am going to the Jar/Cash method. But I literally cannot spend any money extra. Everything should be going into savings. I might be going back to my hermit ways – or just inviting friends over more.
