I feel like I haven’t posted about my actual life in a little bit.
And mainly.. some things have happened and I wasn’t sure if I was up to posting about it. Or even if I wanted to post about it. Something’s don’t have to go online.
Things around here have been a little.. lack-luster (for lack of a better word). I had a little bit of a break down a couple weeks ago, the kind that had me in tears, and thinking that Andrew was going to break up with me [sn: we didn’t, just a little misunderstanding!]. We had a long/short conversation about how I was feeling, and what brought on this most recent quarter life crisis.
I couldn’t quite explain to him why I was feeling so unsatisfied with how my life was going. He kept saying that it seemed like I was holding myself up to someone in particular. And there isn’t just one person, it’s more the whole. I’m constantly plugged in: Social media, blog reading, it adds up. And it turns into a giant entity that you can compare yourself too.
Yes, I know. Comparison is the thief of joy. I’ve written about it here before. But this time it was different. It kind of snuck up on me. Just scrolling through the endless pictures on Instagram, you see them, might not really absorb them, but they stay in your subconscious. That’s why I’m suddenly hankering for some over the knee boots, and blazers. And how my wardrobe just isn’t good enough anymore.
I think it really boils down to not really knowing what I want with my life. Too much choice in this world. So many bloggers around have been talking about this – maybe it has something to do with Mercury going into retrograde (again).
