Transient Being

tran·sient

–adjective

1. not lasting, enduring, or permanent; transitory.

2. lasting only a short time; existing briefly; temporary: transient authority.

3. staying only a short time: the transient guests at a hotel.

–noun

5. a person or thing that is transient, especially a temporary guest, boarder, laborer, or the like.

6. Mathematics .

a. a function that tends to zero as the independent variable tends to infinity.

b. a solution, especially of a differential equation, having this property.

7. Physics .

a. a nonperiodic signal of short duration.

b. a decaying signal, wave, or oscillation

I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be part of a group. An actual group of people that I was part of it’s creation. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to have a lot of groups of friends, that I’m never really apart of, always on the outside. I’m starting to get used to it. I will always be the girl who’s included, but not part of the group. I know I’ll get ostracized eventually by every group because I plan on being the single girl. Girls don’t like it when there’s a threat to their significant others (even if I would never touch another girls’ guy – I do have morals) but they never seem to get that.

Take the drama that’s occuring right now. Girl likes Boy. Girl never says anything to Boy. Boy falls for another Girl. Girl #1 loses her shit and melts down. Girl #2 doesn’t know what to do, but likes Boy and doesn’t want to make Girl #1 mad. Impossible situation. I know that I have to do what’s best for me, and I honestly just can’t deal with that crap. I shouldn’t have to, and I don’t have the patience for it anymore. Decisions that might push me out of the group, but I have to stick to my guns. I have some sympathy for her, but not enough. I seem like a cold-hearted bitch, but that’s how I feel. I have sympathy for women, but when women don’t have any self respect, confidence or esteem, I lose that sympathy. If you can’t respect yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to respect you either.

Girls are sometimes so frustrating. I think this would be so much easier resolved if she would actually talk about it with me. I’m not going to bring it up because it’s not my job. She has the problem, she needs to  bring it up. Stop bringing people into it, talk to me about it, and then we’ll go from there. Right now it’s all good to my face and then hatin’ from behind my back.

I don’t have time for that.
xoxo